This Will Be So Easy For Me To Do

I have only told this part of my story to a few people. I was originally diagnosed with Leukemia in February 2010 and spent 30 days in a hospital for treatment to eliminate these cancer cells from my blood. About two weeks into that hospital stay, I remember walking down to the end of the hallway where there was a window. Looking out that window, I started a conversation with God. That conversation was about the heaviness I felt about the disease I was fighting. I had lots of questions. How would my family deal with this? Would this be the end? Would I see my children get married and have grandchildren? Would I ever walk out of this hospital? I was seeking answers from the God who saved me as a young boy. I paused for a long time, waiting for an impression from God, for an answer. It wasn’t long before I heard these words: “This will be so easy for me to do.” Those words were not audible, but I could feel, deep in my soul, that God had delivered that answer to my very direct question—was I going to live through this? I’m not sure how much time went by before I decided to see if I could confirm God’s promise. I think it was just a few seconds and I don’t even know where this thought came from, but I wanted some assurance that God delivered those words to me, and not something I thought up. So, I answered back: “If this is going to be so easy for you to do, then let me walk out of this hospital with my hair—don’t let me lose my hair.” As most of us probably know or have seen, many people lose their hair from chemo treatment. Chemo is known to kill all rapidly dividing cells. Our hair follicles are highly active cells that frequently divide to produce growing hair. So, hair often becomes the unfortunate bystander that takes the fall along with the cancer cells. Hair loss, for many, is one of the most traumatic experiences of cancer. But, let’s be honest, it is likely more traumatic for women. It’s not that big of a deal to see a bald man. In fact, many men look great bald. And some men, for style, shave all their remaining hair off instead of having patches of hair growing in some spots and none elsewhere. With that in mind, I don’t know why holding onto my hair would have been the request I made, other than it being a very visible thing I could count on, and that others could see.

So, that’s the request I made. I really didn’t think much about it until I left the hospital. But I left the hospital with my hair! It was still closely cut and did thin out a bit, but it was there. We had a friend give me a “buzz” cut when I first arrived in the hospital thinking that I would lose it anyway and it would be better to lose a thin layer of hair than big chunks. I then thought: “Wow, God must have really said those words because I walked out of the hospital with my hair.” (see the picture with Jennifer, Brian, Zachary and I on one of my last days in the hospital)

That thought stayed with me until my re-lapse in 2011. During my re-lapse, I often went back to God and reminded him of what he told me in February 2010—“this will be so easy for me to do.” I wondered what the re-lapse was all about? Then, four years went by from 2011-2015 where I was completely free from Leukemia. Life was good. God’s promise was true. But, I then experienced a brain tumor in 2015 and Leukemia was found in that tumor. I remember thinking, “God, you said this would be so easy for you to do. Explain the re-lapse and now the brain tumor. This doesn’t feel that easy. In fact, it’s been pretty hard.”

I’ve carried this question with me for the last few years, especially since the brain tumor in 2015. I was certain I heard those words, that promise in 2010. I just knew it in my heart. But none of this has been easy. Not on me and not for our family. Only recently have I been given a different perspective on this. One morning I was reading in Luke 22, after Jesus and his disciples have the Last Supper, and Jesus knows that he will soon go to the cross and die. My attention was drawn to verses 41-44:

He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. (Luke 22:41-44, NIV)

Jesus was in anguish as he faced the reality of the cross. And then I felt this revelation in that moment: It was easy for God to raise his son Jesus to life again, but the journey was not easy on Jesus. It was as if God was saying to me, “Terence, I said this would be so EASY FOR ME TO DO. I know it has been tough on you, but I have been with you—I’ve never forsaken you (Deuteronomy 31:6). Here you are alive and enjoying life to the fullest. You have a great job, working for a great company. You have walked your daughter down the aisle in her wedding, seen your oldest son graduate from the Air Force Academy and also get married. Have two beautiful grandchildren and one more on the way. Celebrated your 30^th wedding anniversary last year with your high school sweetheart. My promises are true.”

I still don’t know why I have had to go through a re-lapse and a brain tumor. But I can cling to this: God has been with me. As a young boy, he saved me from spiritual death and now almost certain physical death from Leukemia. He has prolonged my life when there was no hope for the future. What have you heard God promise to you? Know he is with you and will see it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

It’s the Hard that Makes it Great

Someone once told me, “At the beginning of the test faith is challenged.  At the end of the test faith is rewarded.  But in the middle of the test faith is strengthened.” I love the way The Message version puts it, “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought” (James 1:2-5)

What is it about going through challenges and coming out on the other side more mature and refined? Remember the 1992 movie A League of Their Own starring Geena Davis and Tom Hanks? There’s a scene where Dottie (Geena Davis) tells Jimmy (Tom Hanks) that she is going home to Oregon instead of playing with the team in the league’s world series. Jimmy tries to persuade her to stay, but Dottie responds, “It just got too hard.” Jimmy’s next line has stayed with me over the years:

“The hard is what makes it great.”

There is something to be said about embracing and overcoming a challenge. Whatever your personal feelings on Alabama Crimson Tide or their coach, Nick Saban, I think he got it exactly right when he said this after winning the 2018 National Championship against Georgia:

“If you can’t overcome hard, you’re never going to have any great victories in your life.”

My Story of Overcoming Hard

On this date eight years ago, I was diagnosed with leukemia. A few months later as I completed treatment, our family thought it was all behind us. But exactly a year after the original diagnosis, leukemia came roaring back. My only life-saving option was a bone marrow transplant, and my sister was found to be a perfect match for me.

On the evening before I started treatment that would take me an inch above death in order to accept my sister’s cells, I just wanted to run away. There was only a 50% survival rate for bone marrow transplant, not to mention so many things that could go wrong later in life after transplant. But I knew if I didn’t embrace transplant, my life here on earth would be over.

By embracing transplant and pressing through the difficult road ahead, several good things happened. A year after transplant, I walked my daughter down the aisle. Three years after transplant, I saw my oldest son graduate from the Air Force Academy and shake the Vice President’s hand as he crossed the stage. I got to see my youngest son grow into a young man. And finally, I have been blessed with two beautiful grandchildren. I would not have been able to experience these wonderful milestones if I had chosen not to embrace transplant.

Has it been hard? Absolutely yes. And my journey isn’t over. Three years ago, leukemia came back in the form of a solid brain tumor. It took everything I had, nearly two years, to recover from that 9-hour surgery. Over the last 8 years I have spent 160 nights in a hospital, received 40 red blood transfusions, 55 platelet transfusions, 12 radiation treatments, and countless rounds of chemotherapy. I am grateful to be alive. The hard is what makes life great; by overcoming the hard, I have experienced great victories.

I have faced the deep reality of going through something incredibly difficult…and getting through to the other side. It was awful to go through; it took me to the point of just inches away from death. But I can say on this side of it, I’ve learned so much about myself and so much about God’s amazing love in the storm. I’ve heard it said that you never know what you are made of until you go through something hard, embrace the challenge, and press through to the other side. It matures you, strengthens your perseverance, and allows you to develop a generous spirit to serve and comfort others who are going through a difficult challenge. You will discover both gratitude and a generous heart of serving others on the other side of the struggle. It’s the hard that makes the overcoming worth it in the end. 

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

God Makes the Impossible Possible

Last month, Debbie, Zachary, and I visited my company’s office in Covington, KY. While there, we decided to see the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter, both in Kentucky. I had heard much about the Creation Museum since it opened 10 years ago (2007). But I didn’t know much about the Ark Encounter since it is still new (opened in 2016). The Creation Museum was a great experience for us as a family, walking through biblical history in a state-of-the-art museum. It was a great way to bring the Bible to life for all of us. But, what impacted me the most was our trip to Noah’s Ark (known as the Ark Encounter) in Williamstown, KY. Here’s the story…

As we were walking up to Noah’s Ark, the size just overwhelmed me. We ate lunch right at the base of Noah’s Ark with the full scale of the Ark right in front of us. As I looked at the size of Noah’s Ark, this thought came to me: This is IMPOSSIBLE—How could Noah and his family build this! It was just too much to take in. The Ark was built to the scale described in Genesis 6: 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide, and 30 cubits high. We know there is some debate as to the actual measure of a cubit (somewhere between 19 and 21 inches). Taking any one of those numbers…the Ark is BIG! The size of this Ark constructed at the Ark Encounter is 510 feet long, 85 feet wide, and 51 feet high.

I just could hardly take in the size of what was in front of us. We then walked through the Ark Encounter where we saw stunning exhibits that brought the Genesis account of Noah’s flood to life. Engineers, mathematicians, and construction experts put together convincing details on what the inside of the Ark could have possibly looked like, how everything could fit, and what life could have been like on the Ark for the approximate year Noah’s family was on it.

As I walked out of the Ark Encounter and thinking back to what I first thought when walking up...this is IMPOSSIBLE…I now had this thought: With God Anything is POSSIBLE. As I read every word of the Genesis story of Noah’s Ark and the detailed re-creation of how it could have been built, I was deeply impacted by what is possible when God is with you.

This experience reminded me of the challenges in life that we often face…and that they can look overwhelming to us—they look IMPOSSIBLE! My thoughts were taken back to July 29, 2015 when I faced a 9-hour brain surgery and the return of Leukemia in the form of a solid brain tumor--nearly the size of an orange. Doctors did not give us much hope for the future—the tumor would likely come back within a year. Our hope was crushed. This looked IMPOSSIBLE—how was our family going to get through this! But, here I am over 2 years later and my doctors are amazed (and pleased) to see me. And there is no sign of Leukemia. God makes the Impossible POSSIBLE. And I love this song by our friend, Jared Anderson: Impossible Possible. Enjoy it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH63wQBerpA. 

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

Six Years Ago

Six years ago on this date, February 19, 2010, Terence had a test that changed our whole family’s lives. Terence hadn’t been feeling very well and the doctor at the Air Force Academy clinic had ordered some blood work.  The numbers came back odd so the doctor said he would like to have a blood doctor look at him, a Hematologist. We didn’t think anything of it. None of us had ever been very sick, so Terence went on his own that Friday. After another blood test, the doctor decided he should do a bone marrow biopsy.  The doctor still wasn’t concerned, but said he would do one just to be sure and he could fit Terence in during his lunch break.  Terence called me and I decided I should probably be there when they did the biopsy, so I met Terence at the doctor’s office.  When the nurse called Terence back we decided I would go in with him.  It was much worse than I imagined and I ended up going to stand outside the door so I wouldn’t pass out. The doctor said it could be a few days before we would hear anything, so we went home and really didn’t think too much about it. The next afternoon, February 20 (Saturday), I remember Terence, Jennifer, Brian and I were watching the winter Olympics on TV and Terence got a phone call.  It was the doctor on call for the clinic that Terence had went to.  Terence took the call upstairs and after talking a couple minutes he called me upstairs with him.  Our life changed in that minute. The doctor said that Terence had Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) and he needed to be in the hospital on Monday for about a 30-day treatment.  I remember all four of us being in shock and praying together.  Zachary was only three at the time, so he was still napping.

In the moment I kept thinking why us? What did we do to deserve this disruption to all of our lives? Because all of our lives did change.  My parents moved into our house to help keep us going during that time since I was at the hospital every day and Zachary needed care. During this initial time in the hospital, so many people made us meals and helped us in many ways. Still it is easy to feel so alone, but we knew that God was with us. The company that Terence works for, Tier1 Performance Solutions, have been like a family to us and supported all of us during this very difficult journey. Terence was in the hospital in Colorado Springs for 30 days to start that first treatment in February 2010. He would have four more week-long treatments in the hospital that year. After completing all the treatments in September 2010, we were told he was in remission.  Terence had really grown spiritually through everything and he knew God loved him more than he had realized before. Jennifer graduated from college and Brian from High School that May. We were so thankful that Terence was well enough to be involved in all the graduation activities. Brian entered the Air Force Academy in June and Jennifer started teaching 8^th grade English in the fall.  In October Terence felt better and he and I went on a cruise to have some time to recover from this journey together. We moved on with our lives, because we were told Terence had a very treatable form of AML and he was cured.

In February 2011, at a routine blood check for Terence, we found out that the AML had come back.  It was so hard to believe because this time Terence felt really good—they had caught the leukemia much earlier.  The only treatment option for a re-lapse of AML was a bone marrow transplant.  We met with a specialist in Denver and were told that the treatment had a 50/50 chance of being successful, but decided to move ahead.  Terence’s sister, Bonita, ended up being a perfect match, which is a miracle because finding a match even in a sibling has only a 20 percent chance. The bone marrow transplant doctor in Denver told us we would need to relocate close to the hospital in Denver since we lived more than 30 miles away, so we went through the process of finding a place to live and moving up to Denver.  Terence and I had talked and each of us had one thing that we felt we needed to make it through this next round of treatments.  Terence wanted me to still be able to visit him frequently and I didn’t want to have to leave Zachary in Colorado Springs, so my parents moved with us to Denver to be able to help with him once again.  Jennifer and Brian were both now established in their lives, so we were only able to see them when they could work it out. As a mother I knew they were both adults and they would be fine on their own, but I also felt God was asking me to once again give both Jennifer and Brian to God’s care and trust Him to work in their lives.  I had to believe that He loves them both more than I ever could.  We moved to Denver the first of April 2011 after Terence had had more chemotherapy in Colorado Springs to prepare him for the bone marrow transplant. I remember the day before the transplant was to take place in Denver, it was beautiful outside and Terence was really struggling with why he had to go through all of this when he seemed to feel fine.  Zachary was not going to be able to see Terence for 30 days during transplant. Children were not allowed on the bone marrow transplant floor. Before transplant, Terence wrote in his journal and prayed that he would live to see Brian graduate from the AF Academy and to walk Jennifer down the aisle someday. This second time around God helped me realize how much I needed Him and He gave me such amazing peace. I remember the very anticlimactic moment on the evening Terence received the transplant, April 11^th, when the bag of bone marrow was delivered to Terence’s room from his sister, Bonita.  It was very late in the evening after there had been some difficulty collecting the blood from Bonita. It had been very hard on her, and she had sacrificed so much for her brother to save his life.  The doctors were amazed how well Terence did given the circumstances and Terence ended up being released on my birthday, April 29^th. After a few setbacks, once again Terence was given a very confident report that he had come through miraculously and he could go on with his life.

During the time we were in Denver, Jennifer met an amazing young man, Andrew Lee, through a series of miracles. Once again God answered prayer and Terence got to walk her down the aisle on May 5, 2012. Terence and I celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary on May 30, 2012 in Maui, HI.  Brian graduated from the AF Academy on May 28, 2014 and then married a wonderful young lady, Kaitlyn Weber, three days later on May 31^st.  Zachary was growing up and continued to be a wonderful joy to our lives. Caleb Philip Lee, our first grandchild, was born on November 11, 2013 and added so much excitement for all of us. Our life once again was back to normal. 

In April of 2015, Terence elected to have minimally invasive back surgery after about 6 months of dealing with pain and numbness in his left leg.  He also noticed a spot that had swelled up on the right side on his face and the ER doctor said it was probably a bug bite, so we didn’t think anything of it.  On the way to a follow-up appointment with Terence’s back surgeon at the end of June, Terence got light headed and just about fainted in the parking lot walking in to see the doctor (he had just driven to Boulder from Colorado Springs). We told the doctor what had just happened and she said Terence’s back looked great and shouldn’t be causing him to feel this way. Right away she determined something else was going on and she wanted us to head immediately back to Colorado Springs to get an MRI and she didn’t want Terence to drive.  We got something for lunch and Terence just about fainted again while standing in line for our food.  By the time we got to Terence’s doctor’s office in Colorado Springs it was too late for them to fit in an MRI and they called ahead to a local ER to get the MRI done.  When the ER doctor came in with the result of the MRI we knew something wasn’t right.  She said that Terence had a massive tumor on the right side of his brain that was causing the swelled spot on the right side of his face.  She said it looked like a Meningioma, a benign brain tumor. We went to a neurosurgeon in Colorado Springs a few days later and the doctor said that because of the location of the tumor, Terence would need a more specialized surgeon and recommended that we go to a neurosurgeon in Denver.  On July 29^, 2015 Terence had brain surgery.  Jennifer, Brian, my parents, and I waited that day for what seemed very long—a 9-hour surgery. The nurse called when the surgery was done and that the doctor would like to talk with us.  When we met with the doctor he said he had gotten as much of the tumor as he could, but that it didn’t look like a typical Meningioma tumor and we would have to wait for the results from pathology. It took much longer than the doctors expected, but a few days later when the results came back they had found that leukemia had crossed the blood-brain barrier and had come back. The tumor was leukemia and they had found leukemia in the spinal fluid as well.  The doctors said this was a very rare type of leukemia re-lapse in the form of a tumor. The team of doctors put a plan into action and Terence began radiation and chemotherapy to eliminate the rest of the tumor that could not be done surgically. Terence also had spinal taps where they inserted chemotherapy to eliminate the leukemia found in his spinal fluid. Near the end of the treatment plan, Terence had a severe reaction and ended up in ICU.  Even in the midst of Terence’s recovery God blessed our family with a second grandchild, Eleanor Lynn Lee on September 7, 2015.  It was so wonderful to experience such an amazing gift from God in the midst of a very difficult time. Terence’s recovery has been very long and challenging this time.  We don’t know what will happen next.  Sometimes it is hard to dream again because we don’t know if our journey through leukemia is forever over.

Once we found out about leukemia coming back in Terence’s brain we have really felt that this third round of cancer was not only for our spiritual growth, but for those around us. This time has been much more difficult on Zachary.  It is hard to understand why he should have to deal with such big issues at a young age.  I’ve prayed that he will not be bitter with God, but see God through all that is going on.   During the days of Terence’s recovery and treatments this last year I have spent a lot of time reading the book of Psalms.  I wanted to find a way to praise even when things were hard and David writes a lot about that in the book of Psalms. Each time the leukemia has come back it has been progressively more serious and has caused us to have to lean into God even more.  I was listening to a talk that the late Elizabeth Elliot gave today in which she talks about suffering.  Hebrews 5:8 says, “Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered.” This verse is talking about Jesus and that he had to suffer to learn obedience. Mrs. Elliot says, “In the gift of suffering God gives himself to me.”  She also said, “When we don’t understand just bow before a mysterious God.”  This may not make sense why we would have to suffer, but I know that when life doesn’t throw as many hard things in my path, it is easy to grow self-centered and think I don’t need to rely on God as much as I should. In the midst of the worse days watching Terence suffer, I discovered a real presence of God and that he gave me such an amazing peace? “In Acceptance Lieth Peace.” 

In reflecting over the last six years I can look back and say, “Why not us?” God wants to give our family a special gift, if we choose to accept it.  He has given us the chance to get to know His amazing love and care in a very real way. I have a yearning for Him like I’ve never known in all the years before 2010. I know that heaven is real and happiness is only forever in heaven.

Terence is traveling for business this week and will be home tomorrow morning. It is amazing to see him be able to do that again even if he isn’t all the way back to 100%.  After all he has been through I know that it is a miracle he is able to do his job again.  During the bone marrow transplant we read the book of Job and even now I pray Job 42:12 for Terence, “the Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.” I’m looking forward to what God has for us even if the blessings don’t look like what I would think best.  I have faith to know that “God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

No Evidence

On this date four years ago, we moved up to Denver and I was admitted into the University of Colorado Hospital to undergo bone marrow transplant for leukemia. It was a dark time, and although we had great faith, this was an unknown journey. I went up to that same hospital today to do my annual labs to confirm leukemia is all gone. It is often that I do these labs around Easter each year and realize the deep connection between what Jesus did for me spiritually and what happened physically in bone marrow transplant. This understanding I have is only because heaven has whispered this insight in incredible ways.

As some of you know, my donor was my sister Bonita. She was a perfect match for me. A miracle in just that event. The goal of bone marrow transplant is to be 100% donor converted in your bone marrow. That is, it is typically not a good outcome to have both diseased stem cell DNA and donor stem cell DNA mixed in the bone marrow. Every year I get my labs done, the clinical staff does a very complete blood panel. One of the tests is to see if there is any evidence of my diseased blood DNA. With a female donor, there is one easy way to check that. We all have 23 pairs of chromosomes with the gender chromosome listed as an XY (male) or XX (female). In my case, the result comes back as 46 XX. That means 23 pairs of chromosomes with the gender chromosome now an XX (female). But here is the line of the lab result that always impacts me: “no evidence of pre-bone marrow transplant host disease.” You see, right before I accepted my sister’s stem cells, the hospital took a sample of my bone marrow with diseased leukemia in it. And now when they do this test each year, they compare that sample from April 2011 to the current sample. What this result means is that this test has the ability to see if there is any of the diseased marrow left in my body and the conclusion is absolutely not! There is no evidence of the former diseased blood. So here is the spiritual insight.

Even if you are not a Christ follower, you have probably heard, especially around Good Friday and Easter, messages about the blood of Jesus. And at some point might have even heard things like “being washed in the blood,” “being born again,” and “how Christ forgives us of our sins because of the blood sacrifice he did on the cross.” These are all hard concepts to understand and certainly very strange language. As a Christ follower, I really never understand the deepness of these concepts, until my own bone marrow transplant.

When we accept Christ into our lives and he forgives us of our sins, he is essentially giving us a spiritual bone marrow transplant. We are taking on his identity by accepting him as Lord of our lives. 2 Corinthians 5:21 tells us this: “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” How can that be, you ask? It is just like the lab test I receive each year that says, “no evidence of your previous disease.” The evidence of that test essentially shows that I have my sister’s blood DNA composition. When we accept Christ, God now looks upon us and sees the spiritual DNA composition of Jesus. He doesn’t see our previous diseased life! Our old life has been made pure by Jesus. That is the spiritual bone marrow transplant that Jesus does for us. We are new just as 2 Corinthians 5:17 says it: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here.” Several years ago I seemed to hear God say to me, “Don’t you think if I can design your body in such a way and give medical science the ability to do this miraculous transformation of the physical blood that I can figure out a way to do the same transformation in the spiritual realm?” I was blown away by that thought.

And this story is made even more powerful on Easter Sunday when Jesus came back to life and now transforms us every day. We get the gift of his identity and our old diseased life is gone. There is no evidence of it when we are truly transformed by the blood of Christ and what he did on the cross for us. I hope you will think about that this Easter weekend.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

Forgiven

Zachary (our 8 year old) and I are in an Easter production at our church called The Thorn (http://thethorn.net/). We have sat in the audience for this amazing story and drama about the life of Jesus. A few years ago, after Zachary watched it with us, he said, “Daddy, can we be in The Thorn some day?” Working out schedules and plans, we are able to do it together this year. We are part of the general crowd that witnesses the miracles of Jesus as well as his death and resurrection portrayed in this amazing story.

It has been an amazing experience for both of us as we are involved in the miracles of Jesus. As he heals the sick, a blind man, a young girl who is dying, and many others, I am in awe of the love shown by this son of God – Jesus. Another moving part is when an adulterous woman is brought to Jesus and all of us are yelling, “stone her, stone her.” She is thrown down on the floor and Jesus walks up to her, talks to her, and forgives her. All of us in the crowd and the Pharisees are stunned that he would do such a thing (at least that is our role we are acting out). This scene really touched me deeply and got me thinking about forgiveness. The next morning I was reading in Luke 7 where Jesus is anointed by a sinful woman. The essence of the story is that a woman comes to the house of Simon the Pharisee and anoints Jesus with a jar of perfume, weeping, and wiping his feet with her hair. It is an incredible act of love. Simon the Pharisee is shocked that Jesus would let this woman do this. I love the parable Jesus tells next and the interaction with Simon in Luke 7: 41-43:

Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

Some have read this passage as Jesus then forgiving her sins because of this act. In other words she had to “work” for it. But that doesn’t seem right given the parable he just told. The parable talks about two owing money and both debts are forgiven. Then Jesus illustrates, through a question and Simon’s answer, that the one with the bigger debt will love more. The essence of this story then is that this woman had been forgiven a huge debt (her sin) and she was expressing huge love.

This act of love in response to her recognizing that Jesus was the source of her forgiveness really impacted me. And it was watching the scene in The Thorn of the adulteress woman where she turns after having been forgiven and has the most stunning expression of love and wonder on her face. Although it was just a practice session for an upcoming Easter production, it was incredible to watch. It reminds me of how much I am forgiven every day and what my response should be. I don’t have to earn this forgiveness. Jesus gives it freely and it should motivate our love response. And the more we are forgiven, the greater the love.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

Well-Lived

This past weekend I went to a memorial service for a man at church who died on December 1, 2014. The program they passed out had the title, “Celebration of a Life Well-Lived.” For what I heard and learned about Gale during this ceremony, that was such an appropriate title. Inside were words indicating his various roles: beloved husband, much loved Dad, much appreciated Father-in-law, and much enjoyed Grandpa of nine grandchildren. Also inside was a tribute written by Gale’s wife. The last line of her tribute really made an incredible impact on me. She writes, “If you were sitting here next to me on this cold December day, I know what you would say to my grieving heart: ‘Don’t weep for me, because I am with Him, to whom I dedicated my life.’” Wow!

 

This ceremony made me think back to various funerals I have been to in my life. I have been to some very dark funerals where you could see there was deep sadness, anger, bitterness, and lack of hope for a person who was taken from a family. And I have been to plenty where it was a celebration of a life well-lived, like Gale’s. Don’t hear me wrong, even in the ones that were a celebration, there was plenty of grieving, tears, and sadness of missing someone who played such an important role to their family. It’s just that you could see the hope and encouragement in their eyes that this person was now with Jesus.

For me, these memorial or celebration services of a believer gone home have been the most amazing worship experiences. You can feel the amazing closeness of our Savior as he wraps the family in his heavenly arms and comforts them. And you can certainly feel the powerful message of selected worship songs as everyone sings with their eyes set on heaven and our Savior. There seems to be a “wonderment” about what the person is doing right then, sitting at the feet of Jesus. And also a sense around knowing that someday, we too will go home.

The other theme that I left with from Gale’s service is that he did not muster up a life well-lived in the last few years when he was diagnosed with a blood cancer. No, he had lived this way since accepting Jesus into his heart. You could see it in his children’s eyes and hear it in their words. This was how Dad lived all the years they knew him. And the impact it made on them and their own families was very tangible. Even on his grandchildren. Near the end of the service, all nine grandchildren came up and sang the song, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus.” The chorus of that song is so wonderful and appropriate for the celebration we watched:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

What a fitting way to end this service. It was an amazing celebration of a great man who was going home. I was wonderfully impacted. I left that service with a prayer on my mind, “Lord, help me live a life well-lived.”

Amazed by His Love,

Terence